In the never ending game of movie franchise monopoly Disney have acquired the Indiana Jones series. This is a bad idea and I’m going to explain why.
I’ve trusted all the other Disney acquisitions like Marvel, Muppets and Star Wars…well actually I couldn’t give a shit about Star Wars at this point but I’ve had no qualms with Disney buying them up. They make good stuff and the recent Marvel Movie Universe series of films have performed phenomenally well and done wonders in bringing these comic book legends back into the mainstream. The most recent Muppet movie was tremendously good and one that I’ve watched many times regardless of whether or not one of my kids was in the room. Come on, I dare you to say this song is nothing other than fucking ace. As for Star Wars…erm…something, something, new movies on the way, fans happy. I’m a Star Trek guy.
I’m not too sure about Indiana Jones, though. I frakking loved those movies as a kid and I’m so pleased that, along with the Back To The Future series, my oldest child is starting to enjoy them too. Yes, they definitely still stand up. However, if there’s one thing Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull taught us it’s this: The world does not need another Indiana Jones movie. In fact not only do we not need one, we shouldn’t under any circumstances make another one. Indiana Jones is Harrison Ford. The Muppets can be voiced by other people quite convincingly, we can have 3 different movie actors do a great job of playing Bruce Banner…well 3 actors can play the part but 2 can do a great job. What we can’t have is someone else play Indiana Jones and Harrison Ford is just too damn old to put in a stellar performance such as he did for the first
four three movies. Marvel acquiring the rights can mean only one thing: They intend to make more. Any future film with Ford or, heaven forbid, Shia Labeouf will only serve to weaken the franchise. My only hope is that Marvel have purchased the property just to ensure that no one makes any further movies in this series ever again.
Howabout this? Howabout we create a new swash buckling, adventurous character and spin out a whole new series of adventures? No? Anyone?